Skip to content

All the Signs Were There

Dating. Ughh! We hate it. We love it. We talk about it over wine with our best girl friends. We look forward to the next one. We chase Love.

I have often taken flack from my girlfriends for being so, so picky when it comes to dating. He isn’t tall enough. He didn’t have any sense of humor. He was dull. His kids are too young. He’s never been married. He’s been married too many times. I always have an excuse. “Lighten up, Barb”, they say to me. “You shouldn’t be so picky.”

My response…”Why shouldn’t I be picky? Why am I expected to settle for good enough?” If there is anything that I have learned in my life, it is what I will accept and what are deal breakers. Life certainly teaches us many lessons and I believe that I have learned mine well. I have learned that my thoughts are valid ones. I have learned that my feelings matter. I have learned that I don’t have to second guess why I feel the way that I do. I have learned that I have the right to be myself and not change for the sake of another.

These are lessons that I will not let go of. How many times have you been in a conversation where the words you hear are “All the signs were there. I just didn’t see them for what they were. ” I believe that this is one of our flaws as women. We accept. We rationalize. We justify. We apologize on their behalf. We understand. All for the sake of a relationship.

Guess what? I will not be playing that game. I am holding out for my Mr. Perfect. He will not be perfect, but he will be perfect for me. There have been many times when others have talked me into “lightening up”, and I have always been right in the first place. My gut, my intuition, my sixth sense, has never let me down. The greatest lesson I have learned is to trust my own instincts. Am I willing to wait? Yes. I’m o.k. with being single. Am I willing to continue sorting and eliminating men if something doesn’t feel right? You bet! I will be following my own instincts. No excuses. No justifications. No apologies. I’m okay with being picky!

With this in mind, I took an interest in a book written by Elizabeth Fournier, All Men are Cremated Equal: My 77 Blind Dates. When I learned of this book, I immediately ordered my copy from I can’t wait to read it. What lessons could possibly have been learned during 77 blind dates? This I gotta read! Another key lesson that I have learned is that you have to listen to your girlfriends, and learn from their adventures too. In reading the reviews, Elizabeth broke off an engagement that just didn’t feel right. You must applaud this! She then embarks on 77 blind dates. I can’t wait to learn from Elizabeth! Elizabeth is currently on a blog tour, so check it out. You will be hearing more about Elizabeth here on this blog, so stay tuned!

In the meantime…join me as I continue my picky ways, continue following my instincts, and someday…following my heart.

Posted in dating, instinct, love, Mr Perfect.

3 Responses

Stay in touch with the conversation, subscribe to the RSS feed for comments on this post.

  1. the daily blonde says

    SO funny…I was coming over here to tell you about the book and lo and behold…you are posting about it!! She is guest posting over at my blog today!

    I am ticked that I missed you while you were here on the east coast. Raincheck, please??

  2. Angel says

    Never settle!!! Why should we? And the funny thin is, they would not tell the guys to settle. The double standard lives on.

    Thisis a wonderful post, as usual I am so glad you are back!

  3. Anonymous says

    I soooo admire your strength and inner beauty! You are quite a catch for some lucky guy. Some day. When YOU’RE ready. IF you’re ready!

Some HTML is OK

or, reply to this post via trackback.