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Eavesdropping on a First Date

Let me set the scene for you. I am joining one of my dear friends for dinner on a beautiful, sunny Friday afternoon. We chose a restaurant that is on the waterfront in a lovely location close to Seattle. The sailboats are out, the kayakers are stoking with water, the dogs are walking their owners.

I arrived at the restaurant a little early and selected a table by the window. It was unusually quiet for a sunny Friday in Seattle. I chalked it up to being the Friday before a holiday week. I imagined all the families that were packing up their vans and heading out for a week of summer vacation. This left the restaurant with only a few patrons.

Seated right behind me was a couple that I hadn’t paid any attention to when I first sat down. That soon changed when the deep booming voice of the man interrupted my thoughts of vacationers. With the restaurant only half full, that booming voice was easily carried to my table. While I don’t usually participate in eavesdropping (I typed that like I meant it…right?) it was quickly evident that this was a first date. Not only that…but this couple had met each other online. I got quite a chuckle out of the whole conversational exchange. Well, let me rephrase that. It was really one talking…and one listening. I only overheard the woman make two statements. She couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Here are some snippets of the sales pitch..I mean conversation:

I believe in carma.

My date had airbrushed her photo, she was considerably heavier then her photo.

She asked me if I was disappointed. Of course not. I had just met her.

I am not judgemental.

She got falling down drunk on our third date.

I took her home, made sure she was safe, and left.

She called me immediately after I left to tell me that was the fastest anyone had ever left her home.

I believe in carma.

I am not materialist.

I had a nice home, nice car and lost everything.

I’ll get it back.

I drove up to the recruiters office in a Ferrari and an Armani suit. Told them that I wanted to fly fighter jets, so that’s what I did for 10 years.

I believe in carma.

I liked the red dress that you wore in your profile picture.

I fully intended to marry her, she wore this huge ring that I gave her.

I flew jets for 10 years.

I believe in carma.

That’s my mantra.

I’ll get another house, I’m just not worried about it.

I’m not materalistic.

I liked that red dress that you were wearing in your profile picture.

I always see the positive side of life…just read my profile.

I believe in carma.

I could go on, but I think you get the picture. About an hour after my friend arrived, she leaned over to me and said “Did you know that the couple behind you is on their first date? I can’t help but overhear everything he is saying, he is so loud.” After we both giggled and agreed that we hadn’t really heard the woman utter more then two sentences, we determined that this would also be their last date. I’m just sayin’.

Posted in eavesdropping, first date, online dating, summer in Seattle.

4 Responses

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  1. Angel says

    Barb, only you…lol, do you think they will live happily ever after?

  2. carrielyns says

    what a tool!

  3. Carissa(GoodnCrazy) says

    How funny!?

    I remember a date once where the guy kept calling me by my NAME while reaching out to touch my hand or arm..

    "Carissa… {reach} I like your hair tonight…

    "carissa.. {reach} that was a funny thing you just said…

    I was all.. "Wierdo.. STOP USING MY NAME!!!


  4. Barb Jacobucci says

    LOL..That would be so creepy. Verbally invading your personal space. Ugh.

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