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This past weekend I re-watched one of my favorite movies….Billy Crystal in City Slickers. This movie was so much fun to watch and had everything…mid-life crisis, family, friendship, getting the most out of life. Hellooooo!!

For those of you who are also fans of this movie, you will remember The One Thing. The old dusty cowboy tells Billy Crystal’s character that the meaning of life is….. only One Thing. Billy takes the rest of the movie trying to find out what his One Thing is. He finally realized that the most important thing in his life is his wife and children.

I’m sure that we can all agree with this. This is true. This is important……..This makes me wonder. As I prepare myself to become an empty nester, I have to wonder if this shifts my One Thing in any way. I have put my personal life on hold for the last ten years to give my all to my One Thing (actually two things). So what now? When the family has left the nest, is this still my One Thing? Is it time that I let them go in search of their own One Thing?

As with my own mom, whether the kids live near or far, I will always want to talk with them on a regular basis. I will always be there to hear about their life, give them encouragement, listen when required, offer advise (only when asked for, right?), and love them unconditionally. Is my next step to find a new One Thing. Is this allowed? A One Thing that is for me? Ohhh. Just think!! Is this acceptable? Is this selfish? Hmmm. This mom thing is hard. Tell me what the rules are here. New territory for me!

Posted in emtpy nest, one thing, raising children.

2 Responses

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  1. Angel says

    No. there is not a New One Thing. I love that movie by the way. But when my kids left for college my daughter called every day, my son not so much. boys are more independant? No, they just don’t think they need mom as much.The operative here is is “think” But they do. My son when he’s in a real jam called me not Dad.. When he was driving late at night and needed to stay awake when he was a sales man, he called me to chat. I was thrilled.
    So they remain your One Thing.
    Husband ex or otherwise are negoable,but kids remain always.
    Then when you get used to them being gone, they come back.
    So rest assured. The empty nest never stays empty and then it fills up with offspring of the offspring.
    no new rules, just more to love.

  2. The Daily Blonde says

    Wow…that movie brings back some memories. I loved it.

    Who knows what the rules are. When I got divorced 8 years ago I didn’t even think about finding someone else to join my “life” in progress. I wanted to focus on the five children who needed me. Much like you, I devoted my time to that mission. For me it’s ever-changing now…two grown daughters who are off on their own but three still at home. I feel the empty coming on though. They have friends, activities, “dad” weekends…

    I tried doing nothing, sporadic dating and then a relationship. Some days I think I’m destined to just be here…doing what I do best: being a Mom. Other days I wonder if I am missing something. Then I realize how upsetting it is to give your heart out and have someone stomp on it without really even trying. It dampens my spirit for the whole relationship deal….so it all becomes clear: I can do whatever I want now. When my children are busy, I’m getting busy doing my own thing. Whatever that is….but I know I don’t want drama in my life. It will never, ever be empty because we have children……and awesome friends.

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