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The reality of the Empty Nest

I am excited.  I have great anticipation.  I love new adventures.  I am worried.

I am staring the empty nest part of my life in the face.  Both of my kids are well down the path in making their own way in life.  This is a good thing. I know that my job here is not done, but recognize that it has certainly changed.  It is time for me to step back and let them fly towards their own adventures and their own destiny.  The last couple of years, I have actually been looking forward to this reality.  I have been excited about what this also means to me!

My time and attention has been focused on being there for my kids.  They have been responsible young adults for quite some time now, but I have always felt that I needed to be home and available to them (as much as possible for a working single mother).  Yes, they started following their own interests long ago, but I felt that just knowing that they could walk in the door and I would be there to share the adventures of their daily lives with them is what they needed.  Of course, those conversations might only last for a moment and then they were off to their next adventure.   But this was a choice I made.  I didn’t want them coming home, excited to share something, and not have me there or not be able to talk to me.

It is time to look forward.   Let’s think selfishly for a moment.  With the empty nest right around the corner I can now decide what I really want, where I really want to live, what events and interests I can begin participating in.  The need will no longer be there to be a daily presence for my kids.   Wow.  This is gonna be fun!   Right?

Kirkland WAThen why did I wake up in the middle of the night worried about my desire to move to another community?  For a long time my dream has been to move to Kirkland, a great little city near Seattle with an amazing waterfront community.  My dream is to have a small condo right downtown.    With my dog firmly attached to his leash, I envision walking down to the local coffee shop on a Sunday morning, or having a wonderful dinner on the tree lined sidewalk at this great Italian restaurant.   You get the idea.  I am ready to leave family suburbia behind and embrace my inner City Girl.    Sounds great, right?

But, what if my daughter wants to live with me over the summer and I live in a one bedroom condo?  Would the kids not want to spend a holiday weekend with me because they no longer have “their” space?  These are the thoughts that woke me from my dreams.  I am conflicted.  On one hand, I am excited to begin making decisions for my future.  On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder how my decisions will impact my kids decisions.   Uggghhh….   What do I do now?

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Posted in empty nest.

3 Responses

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  1. Angel says

    Go for it, If she wants to live with you for the summer, thats why God invented Sofa’s. and I promise that will not happen. It is time mom to live your life. Kids welcome, and they will come back for visit but a new stage in your life has started.

    I wanted to move to Nags head and live on the beach, it has been my dream for years..but my daughter needed me in Florida so I went. and should your daughter need you, you will go to. But in the meantime live your life. Follow that dream, girl! they will probably be a 6ft tall lawyer sitting on that beach walking his pug.
    get a two bedroom, one for you and one for your dog.

  2. Barb Jacobucci says

    Angel – I like the way you think. A 6 ft lawyer with a pug huh???

  3. The Better Sister says

    So I just got back from Florida with trip with awesome hubby. (14th anniversary, woo-hoo!!) And just was sitting down and readijng your blog. Okay, sister, here’s how it goes: Do what you want to do now! It is your turn. Connie and Lee are going to be doing their own thing and it’s time for you to move to Kirkland and do what you want to do. Hhm, at the end of your life, you can look back and say, “I was there for my kids and then when they were gone, I was there for me. I lived my dream when I could and I have no regrets.” Time for you, sis! If I were you, I’d get the two-bedroom condo in Kirkland, better sales potential down the road, plus you need the extra bedroom for a shoe closet for all those fun new “Fall” fashions. Woo-hoo, you go girl!

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