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We feel your pain!

Twitter, Facebook and blogging are just ridiculous!” How many of you have heard that?? Who has been told that spending time with online networks or social media are time wasters? If you know what I am talking about, then you will also have heard “you are hiding behind the computer”. Here’s another one… “online interaction doesn’t connect you with real people”.

While I can agree that there should be a balance in the level of involvement and that it is possible to become obsessed (dare I say addicted) to online social networks, I also see the human side. This was demonstrated to me over the holiday weekend.

An online friend (someone that I have never met in person), shares the ups and downs of her daily life in her blog and on her twitter stream. (I am not divulging her identity here as I haven’t asked for permission.) I have really enjoyed following her life, as she writes with humor, with a directness to be admired, with honesty and with a sincerity that she doesn’t have all the answers. There have been many times when reading her blog posts have made me feel like I am enjoying a great conversation with a girlfriend while sharing a glass of wine.

The last few months have taken us on the wonderful adventure with her as she builds a loving relationship with the man of her dreams. It was with shock, then, that we read with sadness that the relationship had quickly and very ubruptly come to an end. We read with horror how her beau called her up on New Years Day and, placing her on speakerphone while he did his laundry, proceeded to explain how (and I am paraphrasing here) she wasn’t good enough for him. Boom! Crash! Done! Wow!

Even though most of her online friends have never met her in person, the outpouring of love and concern was incredible. The “I hope you are o.k.”, “Hang in there!”, “You are wonderful, and deserved better”, comments were flying. There were also the usual comments of disgust against the act commited against her. Yes, the battle cries that your best girlfriend would spit out over that same glass of wine were present!

Watching the drama unfold online really brought home the power of social media. Sure, social media is used by corporations to influence purchasing behavior, and used to keep friends connected to the blow by blow activity of their lives, used to get news as it happens…but this experience took it to a new level of understanding for me. This cuts to the core of friendship when it is needed the most. And that friendship is coming from people she has never met.

We will continue to support our friend as she moves through the mine field of emotions that she will encounter. Did I mention that the ‘gentleman’ has proceeded to call, text and grovel??? While the overwhelming message from her followers is for her to cut and run, this will ultimately be her decision. Whether she stays and fights for love, whether she draws a line in the sand and closes her heart, we will be online cheering her on. You Go Girl!

Posted in dating, girlfriends, online friends, social media.

4 Responses

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  1. The Daily Blonde says

    and that is one of the BEST posts I’ve read in a LONG, LONG time. WOW. I’m flattered….and here’s the funny part: I was a BIG nay-sayer about social media for the longest time. Since starting my blog last year and learning about Twitter a few months ago, I feel like I have this community that I can bounce ideas off of, share a laugh or just scream with. It’s an awesome experience and yes, these people are real. Just like YOU!

    I’m so glad to have “met” you thru this social media world. The name of your blog alone makes me smile. The fact that you’d stand up for a friend you don’t really even know speak volumes.

    It’s been a rough few days..but you know, it’s coming around. I’ve learned over the years what is good for me and what is very, very toxic. However, my parents were married 43 years before they passed away and were so crazy in love…and I recall one hellish fight they had years ago. Name calling, put-downs, just cruel crap flying all over. I was probably 12 years old at the time and had never seen them duke it out. Days later, the storm subsided and they were madly in love again. It hurt, yes…but I think stress, life, and who knows what else…gets the best of us.

    You rock. I leave really long comments.haha.

  2. carrielyns says

    Just after my daughter was born I bonded with 6 other women that had babies born the same month as mine. We got tired of the drama on that particular board and split and started our own board, just the 7 of us. It’s 4.5 years later and we still talk, some times just a handful of times per week, but it’s the same kind of support you describe in this post. The internet (and social media) can be a very wonderful thing! I should add that some people have gotten to meet. I’m the only person on the West coast (and we’ve got one in the UK) but I did get to meet one in Boston one time. And it felt like we were old friends!

  3. Angel says

    this one touched me so very close to home! I am so sorry for your friend! Althought I am new to blogging I have been on a message bord since 2004. I know the people on that board almost better then my own family members, because I am in touch with them everyday. They have encouraged me through some very difficult periods in my life. I feel your pain too,I have mentioned to some people in my real life I want to write a Novel, they think that is great until I tell them I am getting started by blogging to get a handle on how to write. Then they scoff at me.I am to “old” for facebook. MySpce is a waste of time. Twitter, What is Twitter?? and who cares what a person you don’t know does? It is because you have had to much trouble, you need to get in the real world again.
    Nope. Some people on line have saved my life literally when I was so depressed I couldn’t get out of bed. And I have yet to meet them in person.
    I am big on Social Media although I do do things in “real” life. I guess some people can’t understand the concept. Their Loss. One of the people I have learned the most from is you, how to blog, how to write, etc. and I appreciate that Thank you if I have not said it before. Sorry it would seem I wrote you a book, sorry I will quiety sink into the sunset or cyberspace as the truth may be.

  4. The Daily Blonde says

    Today is a better day…and I keep reading your post to keep it all in check. 🙂 Again, thanks for being you and how’s that big portrait of yourself coming along? Do you think you could hang it next to mine at the museum??

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